Somewhat Inner Children
by The Girl With the Angel Wings
Summary: "Well, my inner child thinks your inner child should go get MAULED BY A PENGUIN!" Sakura can sleep with whoever she damn well pleased.


_"Snowball fight!"_

Karin ducked, a white missle flying over her head in response and hitting the person behind her.

That person was Ino.

Said blonde turned around, her icy blue eyes making the temperature drop at least 20 degrees.

"Who threw that?"

All my friends (And my boy-toy. That little tratior. I expected it from your older brother and the rest of the skanks, but you're supposed to be on my side, dammit!) raised their hand and pointed at me.

"Sakura," she growled.

"I didn't mean to! I was aiming for the red-headed slut who wouldn't leave me alone!" Karin gasped at this. "Kari-Chan was picking on me because I almost failed Calculas because Hello!, that class was obviously made to make gorgeous pink-haired, green-eyed girls like myself fail! And I was like 'Nuh-uh', and she was like 'Uh-huh', and I was like 'Nuh-"

"Sakura?"

"Yes, my sexy pig?"

"Please feel free, at any time, to shut the fuck up."

"...Okay."

"Oh, and Sakura?"

I looked up to see that look of Pure Anger and All UnHoly in her eyes.

"Merry Christmas."

I gasped in shock as the cold seeped down my shirt.

Someone had just shoved a snowball down the back of my shirt.

* * *

_Somewhat Inner Children_

_By: Emi-Chi to the RESCUE_

_Prompts: "They're not hot flashes, they're just my inner child playing with matches.", penguins, sick Sakura, "'Where are we going?'-'To Hell, since we didn't pray.'", dildos found in Hinata's drawer, and edible boxer shorts._

_Dedication: The Snowman that melted on my friend Addy's front lawn wearing a pink fedora, a purple boa, and an orange dildo as a nose(she insisted)._

* * *

"Sakura's in bed right now. And no, you cannot join her."

I snorted a little at that. That's why we do not let Sharpie answer the front door.

"But why not?" Dei-Chan's deep baritone sounded funny when he whined.

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I said so."

"_But-_"

"Okay. If it'll shut you up, you can join her..."

"Yes!"

"...If Sasori says it's alright."

"SASORI! IS IT ALRIGHT IF I SLEEP WITH YOUR SISTER?"

"...If you can _what_?"

I snorted once again. Oh, this was priceless!

If I had to guess what was going on right now, I would say either:

a) A polar bear walked in and asked Ita-Chan to do the Mamba

b) Santa had _finally _come to bring me my _freakin' pony with the green fairy wings _and asked Neko to give it to me

c) Ita-Chan and Neko had walked in then just then, and didn't hear the whole conversation.

(I was rooting for b. Damn Santa hasn't brought it yet, and I asked _eleven years ago!_)

Suddenly realizing that any of these could be happening at this moment with out me, I got up and decided to see what was going on.

Damn. It wasn't Santa.

Sasuke and Itachi stood next to each other, staring at the blonde male that had just yelled for my brother. Ita-Chan's eyes were blank, but I could see the confusion. Sasuke's eyes had taken on a red tint. I've got to ask them if all Uchiha's eyes do that, or if it's just theirs. Seriously. Leaning over the banister slightly, and trying to ignore the dizzy sensations flying though my head, I made my presence known.

"Dei-Chan," I whined, making my voice all annoying, "You don't have to ask my brother. Just come up." I waggled my eyebrows the way Papa Pein had taught me, and Deidara grinned and headed for the stairs. Or tried to at least.

Sasuke had clamped his hand on his brother's friend's shoulder. Otherwise known as Deidara's.

"Where do you think you're going?"

I rolled my eyes and headed to the top of the steps so they could see me. I wore a pair of gray softie shorts and Sasuke's shirt (or Itachi's. I do get those mixed up. As a matter of fact, it could be Deidara's or Sasori's. Bleh. Whatever. It was comfortable.). My hair was in it's natural curly state, and I had slight rings under my eyes. "Neko, do you really think that I would go and sleep with Dei-Chan? I'm sick for Kami's sake!" I yawned quickly, covering my mouth. "Me doing that is like having me try to kill a kitten. Uncomfortable and disgusting. But just sleeping in the same bed with Dei-Chan is like that day I went to that Akatsuki party and passed out in that bed with a drunk Deidara and a tired Itachi." A thought popped into my head quickly, and I grinned cunningly. They all took a step back.

Hey! I'm not that bad!

"Do all Uchiha men cuddle in bed? Because when you guys are sleeping, you are serious cuddlers."

Deidara snorted, followed by Sasori and the rest of the kids. Itachi's eyes widened and Sasuke's closed in embaressement.

"We do NOT cuddle," Itachi said.

"Yes, you do."

"No."

"Uh, yeah."

"No."

"Yep!"

"No."

"Si, Senorita!"

"No-Did you just call me Miss?" He mock-glared at me as I smile cheekily.

"...Maybe."

Itachi rolled his eyes and went to remark when I got a wave of vertigo. I moaned uneasily and held onto the railing, trying not to fall to my death.

"Don't you dare fall to your death, Sakura! I'm refusing to clean up your body from the floor!" Moment was standing at the opening to the living room, and Carrot and Kool were behind her. I rolled my eyes.

"I promise not to fall to my death so you don't have to clean a Sakura spot on the floor," I muttered to her, barely raising my voice. She nodded, and Dei-Chan came out of the kitchen(_When the HELL did he go in THERE?_) with crackers and a cup of something steaming. He held it up.

"Hot Green Tea with-"

"-a slice of lemon," I finished, smiling at him. He nodded and walked up the stairs to my room. I heard him place the stuff on my nightstand.

"Now, I'm going to bed," I announce. Deidara came out of the room.

"You need some help?" I dramatically held my hand to my forehead.

"Yes! I must be carried to my room for I am too sick to move in the slightest!" Dei-Chan rolled his eyes and followed my wishes, picking me up like a baby. I saw Ino's eVil eye that I was being treated like a princess. (I'm sick! So sue me! You're just jealous because you don't have any hot guys picking you up and carrying you to bed!) He took me to my room. I crawled in bed, and right before I fell back to sleep, I felt Dei-Chan lay next to me.

Thank god for big brothers.

* * *

Okay, so I know that I called the blonde idiot(No, not Naruto) my big bro. And he kind of is like one to me. He's always helping me, and taking care of me, and once he called me Imouto!

It's all just a matter of time before we adopt him(officially, I mean).

But he's eVil.

I was having such a nice dream(let's just say...it was meant for my eyes only. :) ) and the blonde idiot(again, not Naruto) decides to wake me up.

By tossing me off the bed. _I_ was pissed.

But right now, I'm not worried about that, because I am snuggled in my boy-toy's lap, wrapped in his jacket, and shivering my ass off.

Why, may you ask?

BECAUSE I FREAKIN' KEEP GETTING THESE HOT AND COLD FLASHES AND EVERYONE THINKS IT'S FUNNY!

"Still getting those hot flashes?" Karin leaned forward, looking at me. I glared at her and stuck my nose in the air.

"They're not hot flashes," I said.

"Then what are they?"

"They're just my inner child playing with matches."

Karin snorted. "Well, if that's how you want to do this, my inner child thinks you're stupid."

I glared at her fiercely. "Well, my inner child-" I got up. "-thinks your inner child-" I stalked towards her. "-should go get MAULED BY A PENGUIN!" I screeched, poking her in the chest. She narrowed her eyes.

"You did not just do that."

"So, what if I did?"

I didn't even see her blind ass fly at me.

We crashed to the floor in a heep of legs and arms, screaming and cursing and scratching.

"You need to go to-"

"-Hell, since you're-"

"-a big-"

"-ugly blue-"

"-weiner-eating-"

"-jumping cars-"

"-mini skirt wearing-"

"-flat-chested-"

"-wide load forehead-"

"-different bed each day-"

"-BITCH!" We both screamed at the same time. My hair was in Karin's fist, and her face was about to be pummeled by my fist when Hinata grabbed both our arms and pulled us off each other.

"You guys need to stop. Sakura, you're sick-"

"So?" I asked, crossing my arms childishly. She ignored me.

"-and Karin, you're going to get sick fighting with her. Now apologize to each other and go back to your respective couches."

We looked at each other.

"Sorry Twi."

"Sorry Niz."

"Good." She dusted her hands off. "Now. SIT." We plopped on the couch. I scratched the back of my head, smiling.

"I'm a bit tempermental when I'm sick."

Everyone snorted.

* * *

A Week Later...

"KARI!"

I was ready to go, and Karin wasn't down here. Where the hell was this bitch?

"KARI!" I yelled again.

"Jeez, with that yell you can deafen an elephant," she said lightly. She was holding something behind her back. I tried to see what it was, but she wouldn't let me.

"Com'on!"

"No, Sugar. We got to go. We're going to the Snowman making contest. You're my partner."

"But I want to know!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"If I tell you, will you shut the hell up?" I nodded franctically. She showed me a brown bag.

"That's it?" I asked, incredulous. That can't be it...

"Nope," she said, "but I never said I would show you what's in the bag." She opened the front door and walked out. I glared and folowed her to the car. She flicked the radio on and blasted it. I pouted in the front seat. She gave me one look and rolled her eyes. Scrolling through her iPod Touch, she pressed play. A song I knew very well came on. I closed my eyes and started laughing and singing.

I'm sure at that moment we looked like crazies in a red convertible, with the top down in the middle of winter, and music blasting. As we pulled up to the area the crew was going to meet at, we were screaming at the top of our lungs.

"What is Love? Baby, no herpies. No herpies. No more!"

(That's our version of the song, incase you couldn't tell.)

Karin turned off the car, still singing. I stepped out and spread my arms wide.

"I am here, people! Please, hold your applause," I said cheerily. Sasuke smirked and came over.

"You're crazy, you know?"

I looked up at him prettily. "I know," I said seriously. He snorted.

"You're crazy."

"And you wouldn't have me any other way."

"Hn."

I smiled once more and skipped over to Karin. "Let's get cracking!" She rolled her eyes and bent down to grab some snow.

(Now, I'm not going to tell you how we made the snowman, because that would be a waste of your (and my) time. And we all know how I hate to waste time and talk randomly about none sequencial things.

So, how 'bout them Cubs?

Nah, I'm just going to skip this and get to what the snowman looked like after we got done.)

Our snowman was demented.

Somehow, the bottom was smaller then the middle, making our creation tilt to the left slightly. The head was more square than circle, and wasn't centered. Its arms weren't two sticks with three perfect twigs on the end. No, they were two sticks that were covered in lots of little twigs everywhere. Its mouth was five different sized, different colored rocks, and its eyes were one blue button and one purple one. Karin had wrapped a green shawl around its shoulders and a black tie with a yellow smilie face on it around its neck. Sliding to the right side of its head was a blonde toupee.

But none of that was the best part.

The best part was the orange dildo as its nose.

"What the _hell_?"

Karin and I turned around to see all our friends peering at our..._masterpiece _in awe.

(Or exasperation. I could never really tell.

...I like awe better.)

Karin grinned.

"I found the nose in Hinata's drawer!"

Neji's face paled, and Hinata's blushed bright red. Naruto turned to his girlfriend.

"..._Hinata?_"

"I swear! I never had that in there!"

Karin raised her eyebrow. "I'm surprised to find out you didn't know, Naruto." She gave me a look that said _play-along-and-I-promise-to-give-you-candy-after-this._

Who can say no to candy?

I nodded my head sagely, my face serious. "Yeah, so am I. She had edible boxer shorts in there."

I heard a snort somewhere behind me, but I could care less who did it.

(But if it was Itachi...Oh, I got you now, _Sucka!_)

Naruto's face was way funnier.

His blue eyes widened until they looked like they would fall out of his head, and his cheeks tinted red underneath his scars. He turned his head away and down, and his hair shifted to show the tips of his ears red as well.

"...I had no clue about the boxer shorts."

Hinata squeaked in shock and what that implied, and she shook her head frantically. "_No! _No, I swear! Those aren't-I mean-I didn't-_SAKURA!_" She screeched the last part as she saw my laughing face. I jumped and cowered before her.

An angry Ino I can deal with.

An angry Hinata I cannot.

Karin realized this and yelled, "Sasuke! Start the car!" She grabbed my wrist and started tugging me to the black porsche Sasuke owned.

"_Oh, NO, you don't!_"

"Run, Sakura!" Karin pushed me forward, and I stumbled to the car quickly as she held a furious Hinata back.

"Take a picture of Hector!" She nodded, and Sasuke pulled out of the parking lot as soon as I buckled my seatbelt. I sat back and sighed.

Home free.

I was quiet for about three seconds before I asked a question I should've asked before we left.

"Where are we going?"

Sasuke looked at me.

"To hell since we didn't pray."

I pondered this for a moment.

"COOL! Can I sell ice cubes?"

* * *

**And that is the sequel to The Hair Wars.**

**You know, I'm thinking about making some more one-shots that would become like a universe, but I have no idea what to call it.**

**Any suggestions?**

**If so, leave them in a review. And since you're all ready there...**

**You can also review ;)**

**You know you want to.**


End file.
